Imaginasium

2007

Imaginasium confronts attackers wielding giant scissors

Incident coincides with company’s Open House celebration

In what some are calling the latest incidence of corporate-on-corporate violence, Green Bay brand alignment firm Imaginasium was set upon late Wednesday afternoon by a marauding group of spiffily clad assailants wielding a really big pair of scissors, moments prior to the company’s Open House event.

The green-jacketed mob, referring to themselves only as “ambassadors” loyal to “The Chamber,” approached Imaginasium shortly before 1 pm CST, just as the company was putting the finishing touches on the reception to recognize the company’s relocation to 110 S. Washington St. in downtown Green Bay.

Giant scissors in hand, the group provocatively cut a large ribbon Imaginasium management had hastily strung across the front doors in a vein attempt to hold off the intruders. Throughout the attack the group yelled “Congratulations! Congratulations!,” followed with extended applause and handshakes.

Though visibly shaken by the random nature of the attack, principle and managing partner Patrick Hopkins remained philosophical.

“I’m just glad it happened when it did,” Hopkins said. “An hour later, and this place would’ve been packed with well over 200 guests, each touring our new digs and enjoying barbecue mini-weiners, crab rangoons and those ham-cream cheese roll-up things everyone loves.”

“Not the ones with the pickles in center,” he added, “but the other ones.”

Executive Creative Director and principle Joe Bergner called the Open House a “resounding success,” but could only wonder at the motivation of the group. “I mean, where do you even GET a four-and-a-half foot long pair of scissors?”

Security remained high as authorities began sifting through the evidence, including photographs of the incident captured by passers-by.